Resilience as a Leader in Times of Turmoil

As I write this, we are in the midst of COVID-19 and the global chaos this has caused. We’ve been forced to adjust to a new normal for an indefinite amount of time, and none of it is familiar or easy. But the beauty of humanity is our ability to adapt to our ever-changing situations and make the most of our circumstances. I have spent a lot of time over the years reflecting on resilience in leadership, and while resilience is something we should always strive for, it's in times like this that it’s more important than ever.

Regardless of ethnicity, social status, or achievements, society has been under increasing pressure to perform and attain a certain level of success. You might feel like a hamster on a wheel, always running but never really getting where you hope to be. Along the way, many things could throw you off balance, but what matters is how you choose to handle them.

A CEO’s average tenure is about two years, and they have stressful and high-pressure jobs. The average tenure of a sales manager is 19 months. If you are young and just starting out your career, burnout is a real thing, and you need to develop ways to deal with stress and sustain yourself throughout fast-paced seasons in the long term.

While the human body isn’t designed to work endlessly, the rapid advancement of society has made many of us feel like we should keep running the race to win first place. Anything short of that is considered a failure. In businesses, the options you have to expand geographically has increased by several folds. While this can lead to fantastic opportunities, it has also caused more stress and confusion.

So, how can we embrace this fast-paced society and make the most of our circumstances without exhausting ourselves? The first step is to establish and understand your vision statement or mission. If you keep running but don’t know what you're running towards or why you're running in the first place, you'll eventually burn out, with no motivation to persevere.

Every business expects its employees to understand the vision statement and mission, and everything you do must be in line with what your company values. As you make decisions within your role, you're careful to consider what your company would approve of. The same is true for your life.

In a world where you're bombarded by consumerism and competition, it’s important to have a personal mission statement. When you know your purpose in life and the things or people that matter most to you, you'll be better equipped to make decisions that can help you achieve your ultimate goals.

Pandemic or no pandemic - all leaders should be continually working on their resilience.

Create Time to Unwind and Reflect

You can only become more self aware if you take the time to reflect. Good leaders prioritise frequent reflection because it allows them to step back and consider what they have done well and where they can improve. Research suggests that leaders who take the time to do this are more efficient, more positive, and more apt to learn.

Depending on your personality and preferences, reflection can take on many different forms. For some, it may be going out for a walk or a run in nature, while others may prefer enjoying a cup of coffee in a cafe and penning down their thoughts and challenges from the past week. Regardless of what method you use, do something that you enjoy so that your mind can be refreshed and recharged.

For me, I like to free-write in my journal three times a week for at least thirty minutes. I begin by writing facts of everything that happened that day, but as I write, I quickly begin to make sense of everything that has been going on. My journals have helped me look back and notice patterns of things that may have bothered me on several occasions and highlighted areas that I need to work on.

Recently, my journal entries revealed that I was very stressed whenever I felt forced to react impulsively in certain situations. I would become overly concerned about what I should have done or said or how I should have tackled a situation. I then realised that when I reacted impulsively, I did not take the time to think and as a result, a lot of unconscious biases blinded my judgment.

Because I had recorded these experiences in my journal, I was then able to notice a pattern that I needed to deal with. I learned that in order for me to make a decision based on sound judgment, I had to take the time to digest information and find a productive way to respond that was not defensive or detrimental to what I was trying to achieve.

Not all of us are natural-born writers, so journaling may not be the first thing that comes to your mind as a relaxing activity. But you will be surprised how much you can learn about yourself and the world around you if you simply start by sitting down with a pen and paper and writing the facts about your day. The more you write, the more you will realise how easy it is to process your emotions through journaling.

We can’t avoid stressful situations in our lives. The only thing we can control is how we feel, react, and choose to deal with the situation. Mental resilience is a muscle that you have to exercise and strengthen. It does not come naturally to us. But there is hope, because the more you exercise this muscle, the better you'll become at overcoming stressful situations.

Reflect on a stressful situation or season of your life. Start by stating exactly how you're feeling, what happened, what you could control, what you couldn’t, and what you could’ve done better. Try to write this down or take a mental note of this as if you're an outsider reporting your experience. It is important to be very mindful during this process so that you can dissect it appropriately.

I had to apply this method of reflection when I was in business school. I was offered a scholarship to be part of the 'Develop India' programme, which allowed me to work for a non-profit organisation for a year while the business school covered my student loan. I was grateful for the gesture, but within two months, I realised that I was not suitable for this role, and I was not making an impact.

I was in a dilemma because the business school and the organisation had invested time and resources in me, but I was leaving them. When I took the time to think through my options, I realised that I could offer to train the next person they hire and slowly pay back the business school however I was able. Because I had a framework to dissect my situation, I was able to get perspective on what I could influence and make the most of my situation.

I make it a point to view every stressful situation as an opportunity to build resilience. When you shift your mindset to recognise purpose in pain, it helps you step outside of the stress and approach it with a more positive attitude. This also places you in control of your emotions because you do not depend on anyone or what they think of you. Instead, you evaluate yourself based on the criteria you set for yourself within the framework of your mission, strengths, and weaknesses.

Sports scientists advise athletes to treat every ball as if it is a different ball and every shot as a different shot. If something goes wrong in one moment, you should compartmentalise it into one moment and move on to the next situation without allowing the impact of the first moment to affect your judgment and subsequent actions. This prevents the snowball effect of allowing the negative emotions from one meeting affect your attitude and mindset in the next.

Know Your Strengths

You can’t expect to wake up one day with a mission statement at the forefront of your mind. It takes time and many self-awareness exercises to understand who you are now and where you want to be in the future. This will give you a clear sense of your strengths, which will ultimately serve as your anchor when things don’t go your way.

On the field and on the job, it makes sense to put your strengths to use when the chips are down. When things are going well, you'll have time and the bandwidth to work on new areas, build new strengths and get better at what you think you aren't good at. In a high-stress situation, if your strength is analysis, stick to that. Let someone else solve other things. If you're good at execution, let someone else plan.

While you should also consider which areas you want to improve in, accept that you can’t be good at everything. You're limited by time, energy, and resources. Prioritise the areas that are most vital to helping you achieve your ultimate goal, then make time in your schedule to actively work on that particular skill.

The most effective way to compartmentalise a negative event in your day is to recognise that you cannot control every aspect of the situation. As a leader, you're often faced with making difficult decisions within a time constraint, and you may feel like you have to offer the best solution. But believe it or not, it is quite appreciative for a leader to admit that he is not the best person to give advice or offer a solution.

If you find yourself out of your depth, you must learn to analyse your options. You can either lean on your strengths and offer the best possible solution based on the information you have, or you can let the situation pass and allow yourself to subconsciously build mental resilience while choosing to learn something new from this unexpected situation.

Occasionally, you'll probably make the wrong call and feel embarrassed about facing the consequences of your actions. But mental resilience is about standing on your own and not allowing the emotions, reactions, or opinions of others affect how you view yourself or the embarrassing situation. If there were situations you could have changed within your control, then you can learn from them. If not, let it go.

This is certainly much easier said than done. If you were laid off because of the COVID-19 crisis, it can be difficult to come to terms with reality. Your source of income has been taken away from you, and you feel like you’ve been abandoned in the deep end struggling to tread water. You can come through this by reflecting on this turn of events and accepting the situation for what it is. Remind yourself that much of the situation was out of your control. If you lost your job because there were supply chain issues in China and the cash flow severely declined, there is simply nothing you could have done about it. Your company was in trouble and could not afford to support all of its employees. You just happened to be on the list of those that had to go.

But you may also realise that there may be some things you could have done differently. If so, take note of this as you step into your new normal and find the next step for your career. There is no magic solution for you to quickly get over your grief of losing your job, but it can certainly help to realise that most of the situation was not within your control.

Intentionally Nurture the Relationships that Matter

There will be times when we hit rock bottom, and for you, losing a job might be just that. Regardless of how mentally resilient you are, you'll have lows when no amount of self-reflection will be able to dig you out of the ditch. This is when you need to lean on two or three people who know you deeply, have walked with you on this journey, and know exactly how to motivate you and support you when times are rough.

But in order for you to have people to lean on during the difficult season of your life, you must have already been nurturing these relationships when you were cruising through a good season. We often get so caught up in the busyness of life and prioritising our careers above all else that we miss out on spending time with people who matter. You're not only responsible for serving your customers, but you must also serve the people who depend on you.

Be Patient with Yourself

Just as it takes time and practice to build your stamina to run a marathon, it also takes time to build your mental resilience. It is unlikely that you’d be appointed as a leader if you had low mental resilience. But if you happen to find yourself in the position of a leader and struggle with mental resilience, show yourself a little grace and trust that practice will help you get better at taking things in your stride and putting them in the right perspective.

One of the most important roles of a leader is to energise their team and motivate them to accomplish their goals. You must have an infectious energy and incorporate positive reinforcement to push your team in the right direction. But if you’re not mentally resilient, the stress of your responsibilities will show, and you’ll end up bringing your team down.

Over time, you’ll either burn out and not be able to fulfil your roles and responsibilities or you’ll end up burning out the people around you. If you want to become a better leader, learn to preempt high-stress situations by regularly engaging in self-awareness exercises. This way, you'll know your strengths and weaknesses, and this will give you the opportunity to develop strategies to overcome your challenges.

In school, some people make good team captains while others don’t. The only difference between them is their mental strength. You won’t always have the best resources, talent, or skill sets around you, but your job as a leader is to make the most out of what you have. If you’re strong enough, you can maximise your resources and leverage the strengths of those around you. If you’re resilient enough, you'll fearlessly face your challenges head-on.

1. Clearly Write Down Your Vision Statement

You may not have all the answers in one moment, but being successful and mindful about what you're doing and where you're going depends on how well you know yourself. Take time to recognise important people in your life, communities you want to serve, and your ultimate purpose for everything that you do. It is during a rough season that you'll need to fall back on the purpose that motivated you in the beginning.

2. Intentionally Create Time and Space for Reflection

The hustle and bustle of life often consume every second of our days. We can hardly find time to relax, but reflection is an essential part of being self-aware and learning from the challenges that you faced. For your sanity and growth, prioritise time and space for you to step away from your demanding responsibilities and look back on your day, week or month. Check in with how you're feeling and take the necessary steps to rest and refresh your mind.

3. Lean on People in Your Inner Circle

Even though you have been appointed to be a leader, this does not mean that you're all-sufficient. When you hit rock bottom, you'll need to lean on relationships that you have nurtured to give you the necessary support and motivation to get up and try again. Leaning on people who care about you and have walked with you can help to give you perspective and remind you of what matters most in life.