Damage Control: Fixing Your Image After You’ve Screwed Up

Mistakes happen. But how you cope with the aftermath – whether you’ve made the mistake, or are managing someone else who has – is what you should now focus on.

Mistakes can range in their level of severity and impact. It could be a case of drinking too much at an office gathering and passing an untoward comment or two, blowing a pitch and losing a key client, or even a bad hiring decision. Your response to these mistakes will be very situational, and should take into account that the people involved are probably feeling embarrassed or worried about their actions.

Hiring Decisions

Errors in judgement can sometimes be on the hiring level. As a HR person, I’m always watching the body language of colleagues in the room. Wrong hires are sometimes easy to spot. If people roll their eyes or switch off when a person is talking, it shows that the speaker isn’t really having the impact that they are likely aiming for with the team. Those non-verbal cues are also a form of feedback to consider. Then, there’s the individual themselves, who is displaying clear signs of not being a good fit.

Now that you’ve realised that you’ve made the wrong hire, what next? Most people make the mistake of trying to make it work just to keep their headcount, and the budget for that headcount. They’d rather have the person performing at suboptimal levels because they’re scared of losing that 20% of what’s actually working. They may be holding the view that “a warm body is better than nobody”.

However, this isn’t fair to the individual nor to the team. The 20% that’s working with the wrong hire might end up having a 80% negative influence on others in the team. You’re better off being decisive and having these conversations earlier on before the friction increases. Be respectful about it. Explain to them clearly about areas that need improvement, communicate expectations, set timelines, and manage accordingly.

Make sure you’ve tracked and captured what didn’t work with the last hire, and find ways to build the necessary requirements into your hiring process the next time around.

Office Romances

Firstly, if a relationship is causing personal harm, discomfort or safety concerns for anyone, that’s an entirely different situation. Seek help immediately from HR or someone you can trust.

Most companies have clear policies about interoffice romantic relationships. I have a happy story to share about how a budding office romance can be effectively handled without violating policies.

The policy in that company was very clear: personal relationships weren’t allowed along the chain of command – between manager and subordinate. That means, if one person is able to affect the other’s career progression, pay, or performance outcomes, the relationship had to be declared and alternative reporting lines and/or decision making would be addressed. If not disclosed, this relationship wasn’t allowed due to the risk of unfair biases and negative consequences if the relationship soured.

In my story, the Country Head of HR and a Business Unit Leader started having feelings for each other. Since the Head of HR had responsibility for all employees, there was a potential conflict of interest there. They decided to disclose their relationship to me and the General Manager.

The GM and I decided to work out a reasonable accommodation that would allow the relationship to flourish while also protecting them from conflicts of interest. The Business Unit Leader was taken out of the Head of HR’s responsibilities. So if anything came up related to that Business Unit leader, it would be escalated to me instead of the Head of HR. Now more than 10 years later, they are still together and amongst my closest friends.

So when is the right time to disclose a relationship? That’s really up to you and your partner to decide. However, I’d argue that the earlier you do so, the better. You don’t want to put either of your careers at risk by not doing so.

Let’s look at different scenarios. In the previous story, we were able to make internal accommodations because the couple had openly communicated their situation with us. If you find yourself in a similar situation, but you’re not ready to disclose the relationship, it's still worth having a conversation with someone in your organisation - such as HR - who will be able to give you advice about appropriate protocols. Ask what the policies are, and what the procedure is if you ever do need to disclose a relationship. This awareness will allow you to operate from a place of integrity.

In another scenario, if someone’s been drinking and made their colleagues uncomfortable, the first step is to address the issue. You should have someone they respect give them feedback about their actions and explain how it impacted people. Find the right time and space to do so. It’s usually better to talk to them the next day. Share what happened, and ask them what their intent was. It’s very important that you hear the person out.

Remember that your goal isn’t to embarrass the person even further. As someone providing feedback, ask them specific questions that will help them figure out their plan of action: who was around when the incident happened? What steps would help make things ok?

If it’s a less severe issue – for instance, they drunkenly embarrassed themselves – an authentic face-to-face apology is fine. Suggest they commit to not making the same mistake again and also find a support system. For example, for future occasions where alcohol is present, they could buddy up with a colleague. This “buddy” would put them in a cab if they've had a drink too many.

Unfortunately, occasionally more severe instances may occur, and could for example, involve a senior leader and a company dinner or customer event where alcohol is flowing. In these cases, a broader, more public apology may be warranted and the approach to address this should be discussed with HR and management.

Whether you’re the CEO or a fresh grad, the same basic principles apply. If you’ve screwed up, take responsibility for your actions and apologise sincerely. It’s a horrible position to be in, but it happens more often than you’d think.

Giving Feedback

If you’re a manager, you need to set clear expectations for your team at the beginning. When things go wrong, you’ll have to give the person feedback and remind them of what's expected of them. These conversations aren’t easy or comfortable. Yet it’s your job as a manager to be consistent in giving feedback around performance and development. If you’re on the receiving end of feedback, you have to hold yourself accountable and consider the feedback in order to improve.

As a manager, you’ll have to draw lines and establish boundaries clearly and communicate them with your team. Give the person a full view of how their actions impact the company and their colleagues, and clearly communicate how you’d like them to behave or to change.

Sometimes, you may give someone feedback, but they simply continue on the same path. It’s ultimately their choice. However, if the person feels that the work environment is not one in which they can be their best selves, they might just be in the wrong place. They’d probably be better off in a different industry, or a company with a different culture.

Still, as a manager, you’ll have to make sure you’re managing their performance. You could give them three strikes, and if they continue making the same mistakes, they’d lose their job. However, if the person is suffering from some form of illness that is causing these issues, you should encourage and help them to get the right support.

Mental Illness

Company policies regarding mental illness vary across the world. Generally speaking, Western countries certainly have clearer paths and options for an employee living with a mental illness. Some have employee assistance programmes that are included in their benefits.

Mental illness is a very personal, sensitive topic. If you suspect a colleague is suffering from a mental illness, don’t take it upon yourself to help them. It can be very stressful for someone who isn’t a trained professional to do so.

Instead of directly intervening, point them towards the right resources or reach out to HR. If your company has an employee assistance programme, refer them to it. You can call in anonymously and ask for support, and these lines are manned by experts who can provide the right advice.

If you’re working in a startup where these mechanisms aren’t in place, there are lots of third party organisations that can help people dealing with mental illnesses, alcoholism, and so on. Do your research to find the right resources to offer to someone who might be in need of them.

1. Acknowledge Your Mistake

If a mistake has happened, don’t sweep it under the rug. Addressing the elephant in the room might be incredibly uncomfortable, but it’s the only way you’ll be able to move forward and put it behind you.

2. Take Responsibility

Reflect on what has happened and the impact it could have on your work relationships or even your career. Apologise authentically to the people affected by your actions, and commit to learning from your mistakes.

3. Give and Receive Feedback

If you’re giving or receiving feedback, remember that embarrassment isn’t the focus. Use feedback as a space to gain awareness, and constructively work towards positive outcomes that benefit everyone involved.